Baptiste from “Failure to Pay” by Lisa Martens

This is me. I write stuff.

This is me. I write stuff.

So, I’m all about shameless self-promotion. I’ll be reviewing a character in . . . that’s right . . . my own story.

About Baptiste

  • rich dude
  • married
  • owns a ranch
  • likes wearing blue and yellow
  • sort of immortal
  • not really
  • in debt but hiding it.

His problem?

  • He’s about to lose the chip that makes him immortal
  • because he can’t pay for it
  • and he’s already in debt.
  • but hey, who doesn’t have debt for stupid reasons?
  • cough student loans cough.

Sexxi Points

  • Kind of classy
  • he matches his outfit with his wife’s hair
  • and possibly with the time of day he’s going to lose his immortality
  • refused to sell his land to pay for his immortality
  • because he wants to make sure his family has land
  • because in this dystopian world, if you’re poor, you live in shitty balloons
  • in the sky
  • and he doesn’t want that.


  • cares too much about what people think
  • and saving face
  • and throwing big parties
  • that’s really annoying to me
  • it kind of counts as five things.
  • Makes a slightly sexist comment
  • to the bounty hunter who comes to get his immortality chip.
  • rude, sir.

The Verdict?

Jury is still out on this one. I can relate to having lots of debt that LOL I just have no way of paying off. I can also relate to being rude to people who harass me to collect money from me (like an unnamed Internet provider who couldn’t provide me Internet but billed me for three months for a service I never used). I might give you a chance later on. Rating: POTENTIAL PANTY-SNATCHER.

Don’t forget to read the series. Reblog if you like. Follow on Twitter @failuretopay.


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