Deuce Garland from “Unmentionables” by Laurie Loewenstein.

Don’t worry. It’s not really about underwear.

“Unmentionables” is a book about a forward-thinking feminist named Marian trapped in a more conservative town. Like, back in the day. Like, back during WWI or something.

Anyway, this guy named Deuce helps her out and defends her. Let’s see how he measures up to 2014 standards.

About Deuce

  • runs a newspaper for his father-in-law
  • is kinda pussy-whipped by him
  • his wife is dead
  • his daughter wants to move to Chicago
  • he wants to do other stuff, too
  • but again, pussy-whipped by the father-in-law

His problem?

  • he has to take care of this heathen woman from up East, then he falls in love with her.

Women like Marian aren’t just make-believe. Go Wendy go!

Sexxi Points

  • forward-thinking
  • like, he thinks women should be able to do things
  • like have jobs
  • and travel
  • he’s part black
  • which I like because I’m mixed
  • but in that time period, it makes him like
  • a pariah
  • but 2014 is all about mixed-race babies
  • so chic!
  • anyway
  • he also is against children dying from contaminated milk
  • hey, in 1917, you gotta take a stand against stuff like that
  • stands up for a black kid who was killed by racist assholes
  • and testifies against the racist assholes
  • is willing to have premarital sex
  • that counts twice considering the time period.

Boner-Killers

  • kind of a pushover
  • like, first he does what the father-in-law says
  • then he just does what Marian says
  • then he just does what his daughter says
  • HAVE YOUR OWN OPINIONS SOMETIMES
  • FOR A GUY WHO RUNS A NEWSPAPER YOU REALLY HAVE NO SPINE

The Verdict?

His work defending women and minorities in a backwards-ass town wins him lots and lots of points.

BTW, even in 2014, women need defending. GO WENDY GO!

Anyway, I think you know my verdict already. A mixed-race gentleman who owns a newspaper? WIN. Rating: BIEN SEXXI.

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